The Art of Commentary

Have you watched Micháel Ó Muircheartaigh’s advert for the NCBI?

Have you ever stopped to consider how powerful the sports commentator actually is?

So many of us adore the feeling of going to or watching a game, yet there are so many people out there who just don’t get it.

Every one of us can remember the very first live match we went to see and we all know the range of emotions that a sports fan goes through in the course of watching just one game.

It has to be as close to an episode of bi-polar disorder as anyone can get. The exhilarating highs to the devastating lows all in a matter of minutes. For players, managers and fans – it is the same – that sense of belonging we have with our teams.

Its like an addiction (as Simon O’Gorman so eloquently explained) only its slightly more than that. Its a need.

As human beings we are classified in evolutionary biology as animals with four basic needs. They’re called the four F’s. We are born with these instincts naturally. They are fighting, feeding, fleeing and, you’ve guessed it, f*!&ing.

The cavemen did these things in their rawest forms but as we have evolved socially to far more civil climes, the ways in which we do these things have been tamed and curtailed by rules and regulations.

The natural aggression required in sport arouses us as human beings. We take pleasure from engaging in sport’s aggression and from watching it.

Take Richard Dunne’s recent performance for the Republic of Ireland against Russia, the Irish rughby lads’ heroics against Australia on Saturday morning, the Dubs’ perfect ending to their battle with Kerry.

Anyone who saw those performances will understand when I say we got utter contentment, ranging from pain to pleasure, from watching. Our pulses were raised, our hearts beat a little faster, we felt exhilerated leaving us feeling aroused both mentally and physically. Even pain can be exhilerating.

Sport is an arena which makes aggression a spectator sport. Bodies on the line, hearts laid down, souls offered on a platter and we as an audience are hooked. We are nurtured by the sense of belonging that our team gives us, the territorial affiliation that the club colours give us.

It feeds our constant appetite for more and sustains that need without compromise, week in, week out.

Why then is it, that when watch sport at home on TV, we have to do it with the sound up?

Its not the same watching in silence unless its a moment of fear or hopeless expectation where an arena collectively draws breath, afraid to exhale.

We need the sound too and the commentator knows it. The TV commentator reinforces the images that our screens present to us but for the radio commentator they need to imagine their listeners as blind and through words they must tell the story they see in front of them.

But in doing this he must pander to the needs of his listener.

I recall a lecture we had in sociology as part of my Sport Science degree and it was about voyuerism in sport and how as an audience we derive pleasure from commentary. It explained that this happens because commentary taps into the fourth ‘F’ need of the four I mentioned earlier.

It came about upon the dawn of televised sport when suddenly wireless commentators had competition.

In a bid to appeal more to it’s listeners, the BBC radio bosses allegedly gave the instruction to their radio commentators to sex up their speak in a bid to subconsciously pleasure their listeners through words.

For example...imagine the picture to this commentary... “And Damien Duff win possession, runs down the flank, beats two players then cuts inside towards the penalty area, the pitch is greasy, he gets tripped, the referee awards a penalty. He steps up..... and puts it in the back of the net.”

Or.........as the well-trained commentator will put it (to captivate his audience – yes this is a trained skill!).....

“Duff wins it, carries the ball, beating one man, then another as he moves down the right channel. He turns the defender, slips inside, penetrating the defence......That’s superb ball control......He’s relishing the slippery conditions here but, Oh! Murphy comes in from behind, tackles him hard and brings him down in the box. It’s a penalty! Duff calmly places the ball, he steps back getting ready to take it......makes his run, he shoots, he scores.......’

Oh the relief. What a feeling!

Just as man has evolved so too has commentary and now we freely accept the sexual connotations as a normal part of football talk but I assure you the game was not always described like that!

As Cork’s favourite son, Roy Keane once said, “There’s no better feeling than winning. It’s better than sex,” so its no surprise that the occasionally provocative narrative has since filtered through to TV commentary.

Don’t believe me? Why don’t you enjoy watching a match with the sound turned down? Not the same. Is it?