When you’re at home it's family time
Credit:
I offered my resignation to my chairman John O'Sullivan and the Waterford United board midway
through the 2010 season. I believe you must have a very good reason for anything you
do but when members of your family become ill, a very good reason rapidly turns into an
exceptional reason.
I remember Billy Young telling me it took him 15 years before he learned not to take football home with him. ‘When you’re at home it's family time, when you’re in work it’s work time,’ is how Billy dispatched what is great advice. It is, however, so much easier said than done.
Being a manager of any sporting team, no matter what level, be it schools level, junior level or indeed senior level, you become consumed by it all and without realising it you are neglecting parts of your life that are so much more important, like your family.
My wife Lesley Anne is a gorgeous little Cork girl who likes to chat, in fact she likes to chat quite a lot. She would sit down and talk to me for about 10 minutes, go outside for a while, come back in and ask me what she had said to me. The truth is I did not have a clue what she had said because in reality I was probably thinking of what training was like, who was good, who was bad, who we were playing the following week and what I could do to help this player out. The only thing for sure was I was thinking about football, not what Lesley Anne was saying to me.
One such conversation with Lesley Anne did make me sit up and take notice. She had not been well and news had arrived that she would need a major operation, performed by a brilliant surgeon called Paul Hughes down in Tralee on a Friday afternoon. I cannot say it was my first thought but to my shame it did cross my mind that we had a game that Friday and for some reason the date rang a bell with me.
After Lesley Anne went to bed, I checked the date and saw that we were away to Shelbourne. Now I had to make what should have been an easy decision, go down to Tralee or go to Tolka Park with my Waterford team.
On my way to Tolka Park news came through that the operation was successful and Lesley Anne was comfortable but it would be a long road for her recovery which would include another operation the following year for her.
We had a great start to the 2010 season winning our first seven matches and progressing into the last 16 of the EA Sports Cup. All was going really well until what I can only describe as a bout of midsummer madness. While nothing in life is guaranteed I am convinced that had Graham Cummins and Kenny Browne stayed with the club, Waterford United would now be a Premier Division Football Club.
We were not in a position to keep the lads. Kenny moving to the Premier was an understandable career move but Graham’s decision to move to another First Division club seemed strange at the time considering the success he had with us. The midsummer madness I speak off happened around the end of May and the month of June.
It was always a concern we only had 4 experienced defenders in our squad in Alan Carey, Kevin Murray, Seamus Long and John Hayes. Young Paul Carey is still learning the ropes and people like John Kearney and Kevin Waters could fill in when needed. My worst nightmare was realised when Alan, Seamus, Kev and John all went down with injuries at the same time ranging from four to eight game absences which to my mind is where we lost the league.
Every week was a nightmare trying to put some kind of shape on the team where players would play in positions they were not familiar with; Paul McCarthy as a centre-half, Liam Kearney as a left back, John Kearney as a centre-half, we even had Kevin Waters play at centre half which was interesting as he was a winger all his career.
We used these lads at the back because they were the most experienced players we had and as such we depended on their knowledge of the game to see us through our crisis. They all done great for us because nobody really hammered us, it was going forward where we fell down because all our attacking players were playing at the back and the young lads we played further up the pitch found the physicality of the league, along with the pressure of playing with a team challenging for the league and the expectations that come with that, a bit much to handle,
Losing 2-1 to Longford in the FAI Cup, where Vinny Sullivan had a great chance to equalise late on and Liam missing a penalty started a sequence were we would draw 0-0 away to Athlone, draw 1-1 with Cork, lose 2-0 in Derry before losing 1-0 in Wexford. It was imperative to get our defenders back before our season was over with a series of games to go.
Challenges are what make life interesting, overcoming them is what makes life meaningful. Now, I am no Damien Richardson, in the sense I would not be intelligent enough to make up a quote like that all by myself but that challenge quote explains perfectly how I felt during our poor run.
I had not been feeling great myself for a while but I put it down to having no defenders rather than thinking I could actually have something wrong with me and, if there was a problem, let it wait as I had enough problems to deal with without been ill.
It was during our poor run that Lesley Anne received news she needed another operation, and to make matters worse, my young step daughter Amie was not well and it was also confirmed that she too would need an operation that would require a hospital stay for a week or more. I decided to jump on the bandwagon by going to see my doctor who informed me I did indeed have a condition that would require hospital visits. Now I was mad with myself for going to see him.
Now I was in a position where I would be missing training, possibly matches and that would not be fair on everybody associated with the club, especially the players who were doing everything they could to turn things around and John O'Sullivan, my chairman, who puts so much into the club.
It was on this basis I offered my resignation to John and the board, as I felt that if I could not give the commitment the players were giving, I would feel like a cheat and I cannot work that way.
Thankfully after talking to John, I was able to move things around that would not affect my attendance too much and the final third of the season was ready and waiting for us to go and have a real go with all our players back to full fitness. The lads would match our first series of games winning eight of the games leaving us in the runners up spot behind a very good Derry City team and with a playoff spot against a team we had failed to beat all season in Monaghan United.
The most annoying aspect of our games against Monaghan was the amount of silly goals we gave them and I mean that quite literally. They never scored an outstanding team goal against us but in fairness they never had to as we always seemed to make mistakes in and around our own box and to their credit they always punished us whenever we did. Losing the play-off was gut-wrenching. A lot of things happened that night but it would be hard for me to comment without it sounding like sour grapes along with the fact it’s in the past. It’s time to move on and have another go this year with a great bunch of lads.
My second year with The Blues threw up a lot of challenges on and off the pitch. Another Munster Cup winners’ medal but also anotherrunners up medal, which is annoying but we are getting closer.
My wife and step daughter are on the mend thankfully, as am I. I am still struggling with the ‘not bringing the work home’ bit but I am trying. I do now listen to Lesley Anne more too!! Myself and the lads are ready for all the challenges this new season will throw at us, including Cork City this Friday evening.
I remember Billy Young telling me it took him 15 years before he learned not to take football home with him. ‘When you’re at home it's family time, when you’re in work it’s work time,’ is how Billy dispatched what is great advice. It is, however, so much easier said than done.
Being a manager of any sporting team, no matter what level, be it schools level, junior level or indeed senior level, you become consumed by it all and without realising it you are neglecting parts of your life that are so much more important, like your family.
My wife Lesley Anne is a gorgeous little Cork girl who likes to chat, in fact she likes to chat quite a lot. She would sit down and talk to me for about 10 minutes, go outside for a while, come back in and ask me what she had said to me. The truth is I did not have a clue what she had said because in reality I was probably thinking of what training was like, who was good, who was bad, who we were playing the following week and what I could do to help this player out. The only thing for sure was I was thinking about football, not what Lesley Anne was saying to me.
One such conversation with Lesley Anne did make me sit up and take notice. She had not been well and news had arrived that she would need a major operation, performed by a brilliant surgeon called Paul Hughes down in Tralee on a Friday afternoon. I cannot say it was my first thought but to my shame it did cross my mind that we had a game that Friday and for some reason the date rang a bell with me.
After Lesley Anne went to bed, I checked the date and saw that we were away to Shelbourne. Now I had to make what should have been an easy decision, go down to Tralee or go to Tolka Park with my Waterford team.
On my way to Tolka Park news came through that the operation was successful and Lesley Anne was comfortable but it would be a long road for her recovery which would include another operation the following year for her.
We had a great start to the 2010 season winning our first seven matches and progressing into the last 16 of the EA Sports Cup. All was going really well until what I can only describe as a bout of midsummer madness. While nothing in life is guaranteed I am convinced that had Graham Cummins and Kenny Browne stayed with the club, Waterford United would now be a Premier Division Football Club.
We were not in a position to keep the lads. Kenny moving to the Premier was an understandable career move but Graham’s decision to move to another First Division club seemed strange at the time considering the success he had with us. The midsummer madness I speak off happened around the end of May and the month of June.
It was always a concern we only had 4 experienced defenders in our squad in Alan Carey, Kevin Murray, Seamus Long and John Hayes. Young Paul Carey is still learning the ropes and people like John Kearney and Kevin Waters could fill in when needed. My worst nightmare was realised when Alan, Seamus, Kev and John all went down with injuries at the same time ranging from four to eight game absences which to my mind is where we lost the league.
Every week was a nightmare trying to put some kind of shape on the team where players would play in positions they were not familiar with; Paul McCarthy as a centre-half, Liam Kearney as a left back, John Kearney as a centre-half, we even had Kevin Waters play at centre half which was interesting as he was a winger all his career.
We used these lads at the back because they were the most experienced players we had and as such we depended on their knowledge of the game to see us through our crisis. They all done great for us because nobody really hammered us, it was going forward where we fell down because all our attacking players were playing at the back and the young lads we played further up the pitch found the physicality of the league, along with the pressure of playing with a team challenging for the league and the expectations that come with that, a bit much to handle,
Losing 2-1 to Longford in the FAI Cup, where Vinny Sullivan had a great chance to equalise late on and Liam missing a penalty started a sequence were we would draw 0-0 away to Athlone, draw 1-1 with Cork, lose 2-0 in Derry before losing 1-0 in Wexford. It was imperative to get our defenders back before our season was over with a series of games to go.
Challenges are what make life interesting, overcoming them is what makes life meaningful. Now, I am no Damien Richardson, in the sense I would not be intelligent enough to make up a quote like that all by myself but that challenge quote explains perfectly how I felt during our poor run.
I had not been feeling great myself for a while but I put it down to having no defenders rather than thinking I could actually have something wrong with me and, if there was a problem, let it wait as I had enough problems to deal with without been ill.
It was during our poor run that Lesley Anne received news she needed another operation, and to make matters worse, my young step daughter Amie was not well and it was also confirmed that she too would need an operation that would require a hospital stay for a week or more. I decided to jump on the bandwagon by going to see my doctor who informed me I did indeed have a condition that would require hospital visits. Now I was mad with myself for going to see him.
Now I was in a position where I would be missing training, possibly matches and that would not be fair on everybody associated with the club, especially the players who were doing everything they could to turn things around and John O'Sullivan, my chairman, who puts so much into the club.
It was on this basis I offered my resignation to John and the board, as I felt that if I could not give the commitment the players were giving, I would feel like a cheat and I cannot work that way.
Thankfully after talking to John, I was able to move things around that would not affect my attendance too much and the final third of the season was ready and waiting for us to go and have a real go with all our players back to full fitness. The lads would match our first series of games winning eight of the games leaving us in the runners up spot behind a very good Derry City team and with a playoff spot against a team we had failed to beat all season in Monaghan United.
The most annoying aspect of our games against Monaghan was the amount of silly goals we gave them and I mean that quite literally. They never scored an outstanding team goal against us but in fairness they never had to as we always seemed to make mistakes in and around our own box and to their credit they always punished us whenever we did. Losing the play-off was gut-wrenching. A lot of things happened that night but it would be hard for me to comment without it sounding like sour grapes along with the fact it’s in the past. It’s time to move on and have another go this year with a great bunch of lads.
My second year with The Blues threw up a lot of challenges on and off the pitch. Another Munster Cup winners’ medal but also anotherrunners up medal, which is annoying but we are getting closer.
My wife and step daughter are on the mend thankfully, as am I. I am still struggling with the ‘not bringing the work home’ bit but I am trying. I do now listen to Lesley Anne more too!! Myself and the lads are ready for all the challenges this new season will throw at us, including Cork City this Friday evening.
